Part Two: Stella Dalla, Jack Armstrog and Wait until Christmas

When we at last had to come in because it was dark.  We listened to our hour of radio shows.  Our radio  came in two separate parts, the radio part and the speaker.  Our speaker was on a long cord so I could pull it down on the sofa and put my ear right next to it and not bother my parents  The shows we listened to were Captain Midnight, Tom Mix, Jack Armstrong The All American Boy and Little Orphan Annie.  You could send away for wonders such as  Secret decoder rings or a desert gold mine map or Shirley Temple blue glass dishes.  My friend Boonie (TFS) than me always got far  more than I did because she and her brother ate more cereal and drank more Oveltine than I did.. That gold foil seal from under the lid of a can of ovaltine was truly precious.  The one thing I wanted more than antyhing else was my own Radio.  So starting in October I began pleading, whining, and fussing for a radio for Christmas.  Now one of the unbreakable rules in my family is  that presents were NEVER opened before Christmas morning.  They just lay tantalizing you under the tree.  About a week before this Christmas there appeared a radio sized box, weighing about what a radio might  weigh and in a plain brown wrapper.  I couldn't stand it!  My whining and begging reached epic proportions:  "Please couldn't I just open one package before Christmas morning"  Finally my father gave in.  I tore open the wrapper of the "radio" box opened it and found stones and sticks wrapped up in newspaper.  I was truly heartbroken.  My father smirked.  I was  awakened on Christmas morning by music.  Music playing from a radio right next to my bed on a special new table.  Happy ending and I learned the lesson....and now I could listen to the Loan Ranger at 7:30 just like everyone else.

My mother and I spent each summer with my grandmother in Portland. There never were any other youngsters to play with so I spent my time climbing trees and listening to Soap Operas on grandma's radio (not at the same time).  It was wonderful  I listened to Stella Dallas  and my favorite Our Gal Sunday,  The story of a little orphan girl left on the steps of two old miners in the town of Silver Creek Colorado.  The story that asks the question Can a little girl from a small town in the West find happiness as the wife of a wealthy AND TITLED Englishman ? Then there was Helen Trent who searched for romance at 35 and even BEYOND.  Also Ma Perkins, Just Plain bill barber of Hartville.

If all else failed we played with paperdolls.  We took the bus down town, went to Woolworths and for 10 cents bought a paperdoll book. Almost every book had the dresses of a famous movie actress and then costumes  from the latest movie. All we needed was scissors.

After my horse phase and my dog phase and my Little House in the Woods phase I became fascinated with the occult.  Sax Rhomer anf Edgar Allen Poe were my meat.  So I decided to give a Seance.  First I took the bus and went down town to Woolworths and bought glow in the dark paint. I came home and painted creepy faces on about eight shirt cardboards. I attached these to a string that I could pull across the room near the ceiling.  It looked great.  Then I dismantled my light which had a globe attached and used it for fortune telling.  I lighted it with my flashlight and changed colors with various scraps of fabric held over the flashlight.   I had a friend to help me with knocking and moaning.  Our Names were Swami and Logi.  I planned to hold the Seances in my closet.  So Logi and I made tickets and handed them out to the adults in the neighborhood. Then my father found out and began shouting about how I could never have the neighbors in my closet.  That was the end of that.

Kick the Can, Paperdolls and Flexies

Almost everyday after school all the youngsters in my neighborhood went outside. Little kids played Mother May I or Run Across the River or perhaps tag or hide and Seek. Our favorite game was Kick the Can. First, you found the youngest kid in the neighborhood, usually a 6 year old. they would be made 'It'. They stood on Base while the biggest boy in the neighborhood kicked a can (28 oz size). 'It'had to run to the can and count to 100 and bring the can back to base while everyone else hid. Then 'It' began to search . The ones who were hiding tried to sneak into base where they would then be free. If and when 'It' saw someone he had to run back to base first. This went on until everyone almost was at base either free or caught. If a hider could sneak into base while the seeker was off seeking he would kick the can and everyone was free and would go hide again. We usually played all afternoon. My friend Boonie (who was taller, faster, and smarter than I) and I had scoped out a perfect hiding place. It was the crawl space under a house. We even kept a small supply of food. I remember a tin of cocoa mix and some graham crackers. We were never found.

We also played Army. Everyone was given a ranking pfc, Sergeant etc, and then we drilled with fake weapons and marched about. I loved this game until I made a horrible mistake and I chose myself as Corporal instead of General. Everyone in the entire army could tell me what to do. We also were very fortunate in our location. We had many vacant lots, including a very long and steep hill and The Rock. Vacant lots were for building forts in the deep grass and then collecting grass bombs. Next came war, until we all ran out of grass bombs and had to start over. I have one strange memory of finding a dead possum and deciding to cremate it. All I can say is it takes a long time for a possum to cremate. The steep street was for roller skating. We used skates that fit on your feet and had to be tightened with a skate key, your most precious possession. Then we raced down the sidewalk, except for the girls. We put on a show. this involved taking the bus downtown and going to Woolworths and buying lots of different color crepe paper. We cut in to strips and made costumes. There was one big flat driveway where we held the show. After selling tickets we began the show, performing all the tricks we had seen ice skaters do in the movies. The lady who had the driveway didn't like us much. The Rock covered about five city lots and was as tall as a six story apartment. The games on the rock mostly involved a competition jumping from one place to another. There were peaks and valleys and steps and even a cave- Lots to do. Also, we had dangerous things. We had knives. They were about eight inches long and the game was to hold them by the tip and throw them underhand on to marks on telephone poles. There was on boy who circled our neighborhood like a border collie and carried a bull whip. I don't know what a bull whip is but this one looked like the one Indiana Jones carried. Everyone was afraid of him. There was also a mean red-head bully who played with sometimes. He was about twelve and Boonie (Taller, Faster, Smarter) was about six and she ran up to him socked him in the face so hard his nose bled. He ran home crying and never came back. This feat became a Santa Barbara Road legend. The only other dangerous items were our Flexies: A sled on wheels and very fast. I think they have not been made for a long time becase cars backing out of driveways could not see them coming. MY flexie was painted white and said "Willie fastest thing on earth"..

To be continued...
-Louise

The Bum Song

When I was a little girl I spent every summer with my grandmother. It was pretty dull but she did have a victrola and two records- the waltz from the Nutcracker Sweet and The Bum Song. I played these over and over again, every summer for years. The other day I looked up the song out of curiousity and it turned out there were many people looking for the full lyrics of the song, which I know by heart. I'm posting them here in case they would be of interest to anyone, and I thought they were particularly relevant to life today.

THE BUM SONG

Now listen all you jolly jokers and listen while I mum
The story I’ll relate to you of the great American bum
From the East and West the North
and South like a swarm of bees they come.
They sleep in the dirt and wear a shirt that’s dirty and full of scum

It’s early in the morning and the dew is off the ground
The bum arises from his nest and gazes all around
From the boxcar and the haystack, he gazes everywhere
He never turns back upon his track until you cry beware

Oh I beat my way from Frisco Bay to the rock bound coast of Maine
To Canada and Mexico and wandered back again
I met Ten Pounds and Harness Bows as tough as a cop could be
And I’ve been in every calaboose in the land of liberty.

I propped the sluice and worked the ?
And taken a turn at the plow
I’ve searched for gold in the rain and cold and worked on the river scow
I’ve built the dam and dug the clam and packed the elusive prune
But my troubles pale when I hit the trail packing my own balloon

Oh waiting in the railroad yard awaiting for a train
awaiting for a west bound freight but think it’s all in vain
Going east they are loaded going west sealed tight
I think I’ll have to sneak aboard a fast express tonight

Oh lady would you be kind enough to give me something to eat
Apiece of bread and butter and a ten foot slice of meat
A piece of pie or custard to tickle my appetite
Cause really I’m so hungry I don’t know where to sleep to night

Good morning mum. Good morning bum. Lady have you got a bite to eat in the house. Yes I do and a six foot Irishman coming home at five o’clock to eat it. On your way bum. Good bye mum good bye bum.

Oh waiting in the ogies . Ogie ogie ogies. Smoking Strikes and Stogies
Oh we are three bums three jolly old bums
We live like royal Turks
We have good luck bumming our chuck.
God bless the man who works.

-Louise

My Dentistry through the Ages

My first dental memory is of proudly announcing that I was going to the dentist. However, pride soon turned to fear. Two girls, (much older than I) took it upon themselves to tell me the truth about dentists. All the pulling, needles, drilling, scraping and pain. So on my first trip to the dentist I began to have hysterics before I even opened my mouth. It worked. The dentist gave up and told my mother to go to a childrens dentist. The childrens dentist told me right off if I didn't behave I would get something much worse than dentistry. He was short, chubby and had a thick accent. I always think of him as Dr. "speet eet out".
I think I didn't go to the dentist again for a LONG time. After that I was old enough to go by myself. I think my dentist had a drinking problem or some very peculiar smelling mouth wash. I saw him a lot. I always managed to make my appointments just before something wonderful happened. My Birthday, a trip to the, ballet Christmas etc. That way I would be rewarded for my trip to the drilling man. The mystery was why after a trip to the dentist I had bloody sores on my leg. I used to dig my fingernails into my leg on the weird theory that if I could make it hurt enough I wouldn't mind the drill, Stupid! I should mention that at thie time I had begun my eight years of orthodonture which wasn't so bad except for the impressions. One had to stick ones mouth into a tray of tray of gooey gray cement and sit without moving for 20 minutes. GAG
So eventually I went to away to college. I arrived with 21 cavities. Or so the dentist said. My father believed he was a crook. He drilled and I suffered. Would this ever get better ? I graduated and came home to have my wisdom teeth out. I had them out one at a time sitting in the dentist chair. Ouch. then I had gum surgery. MY dentist was French. I understand he was a very important person and a leader in the French community and sometimes had his name in the society section of the newspaper. Needles had not improved and I truly believe he just didn't like me. Or possibly felt, in real life, he was above digging about in people's mouths.
My next dentist was a man who had grown up almost next door to me. He was very kind and hated to hurt me. Howver, he had huge hairy hands and to see him you might suupose he did all his dentisry manually, In order to work he practiced the "headlock" pulling your head over on his soft belly. After many years he retired and I have a new dentist . She is young, perky and very fast and has ALL kinds of new weapons of destruction. Almost painless but a lot more expensive than Dr. Speet eet out" And I still have almost all my teeth.

-Louise